Musicwhore08's Journals

The Reason behind "The Story of Me"

Alright well, the other night I was talking to a friend of mine and she was telling me about this Real Life Roleplay that people had started doing on myspace. It took me two days to write my entire bio. I know for a fact that I left some things out but I made that decision because it felt to personal to me to share. Either way, you should read it and let me know what you think. I know my journals are all fucked up because I put that layout on there forever and i cant figure out how to take it off its really beginning to annoy me.

anyways. Im sorry ive been gone so long. the last couple paragraphs will explain exactly why i havent been on much. My friend died, I graduated high school, got a job, attend college, and have a relationship to maintain. its pretty intese but ill try and update everyday.

The Story of Me

On July 24th, 1990 a baby girl was brought into this world. Lauren Boone. Lauren was just like any normal baby girl growing up. In her family she was the baby, having a sister who is six years older than her, sometimes seven, depending on the month. Her parents were normal, as normal as one could describe. They lived together in an apartment in a small suburban town. Her mother was a homemaker for the time being, with two little girls to take care of and her father worked with cars. Lauren shared a room with her sister Crystal which caused the two of them to both constantly fight while they grew up, but also grow close creating a bond that could never be broken.

When Lauren turned three, the family picked up and moved a few blocks down the road to a three bedroom, one and a half bathroom house. Lauren quickly made friends with the kids in the neighborhood. She made two friends who would be become her best friends, the people she would turn to for everything Nancy and Haydee. They were like this for years. Infact, Lauren would grow up and realize she has feelings for Nancy's brother Victor but managed to keep it secret. He taught her how to skateboard and she used that to just spend time with him and get closer.

At five she started Elementry School. She started Kindergarden and was placed into the Blue Bear circle. At her school, they seperated kids into table groups. They tell them its to help them make friends but at that age how hard is it to make friends? Either way she made a few friends that year. As she went on through out elementry school, she had her first crush in second grade his name was Travon and she use to sit and watch him play basketball, and her first real boyfriend in fifth grade, his name was Jesse. Though they kept their relationship a secret, they were happy when they were together. After fifth grade they went to seperate middle schools but still kept the relationship strong. In middle school is where Laurens life turned around.

In the beginning she was the nice sweet innocent girl that never got in trouble and never failed a class..A goody-goody. During sixth grade, she hung out with the teachers assistant that helped the Special Needs students. She always had a warm spot in her heart for people in need. Of course it caused people to talk. It got to the point where she almost got into a few fights because of it. Infact Nancy actually did get in a fight to help defend her. After everything that happened sixth grade year, Laurens parents decided it was best they move and start new again. So they picked up and moved a city over where no one knew them except a few close family friends. So Lauren started a new middle school, finally a fresh start at life. Sure that meant leaving her best friends and moving farther away from her boyfriend but it was what was best.

During seventh grade she started a new school. She already knew a few people there because of where she lived and when she moved, it was still summer time so she met some friends. During seventh and eighth grade she made friends, lost friends, actually got into her first fight and still managed to keep the relationship she had with Jesse at the time.They had actually perfected the art of his brother driving him over to her house while her parents were sleeping and the two of them would hang out and talk, almost as if they still lived by each other and saw each other every day. The summer before her Highschool year is when her life was turned upside down and inside out.

The Summer of '04 Lauren and Jesse went through a break up. While they were going through her break up she met a boy, Jared. They met through a friend of a friend. She developed feelings for him but after talking to him for a while figured it was best to just hide those feelings since she had just gotten out of a relationship. After talking to a few of her friends however they managed to convince her to confess those feelings. A few days after starting highschool She started hanging out with him and his friends. One night while talking to him online she told him that she needed to tell him but he said that he had to go because his dad was getting mad and that she would have to tell him at school the next day. At lunch the next day she went up to him but couldnt muster the courage to tell him. So one of her friends decided that he was just going to do it for her. He walked up to Jared and told him. It turns out that was the worst thing she could have let him do. After that day Jared did every possible thing he could to avoid her, his friend Alex would also start yelling things at her as they walked by. This went on for two years and caused many reprocussions in Lauren's life. She lost her friends because of it and it also caused her to have trust issues when it came to guys. Her sophmore year was really uneventful. A few rifts occurred over friends but it was nothing dramatic.

Her Junior year is when everything picked up again. It was then that she had her true best friends. The friends that would get her through everything in highschool.She also got really close to two guys. One of them, Jeff, she had known for a few years but that year they hung out alot more and become close,almost like brother and sister.. The other, Austin would be the guy she turned to with any problem she had and knew that she could trust him. They were the only two guys she could trust with anything and not worry about it. She also got really close to two girls, Delaynee and Ashley, though she mad met both the year before. The bond they created that year couldnt be broken. They would be with her until her final days at school.Junior year also brang in Prom. In a group of eight, four of them in the limo were Seniors. Prom was held in Downtown Disney at a resturant rented out just for her high school. On the way they the group listened to music, went to dinner, and play games such as "I Never." Of course no real drinking was involved so they used fingers instead. At the prom they all seperated but still managed to have a good time. That night, after prom, a hotel room was rented for their group. The plan was to go to Disneyland the next day. In the hotel room there was no sleeping allowed. If someone fell asleep, pillows would be violently thrown at them. In this case that person was Lauren, she had fallen asleep on the floor and of course Austin would be the one to throw the pillow. They sat up, eating ice cream and watching Airplane II. The next morning they took showers and changed. Not only were they going to Disneyland but it was also Jenna, Austins Girlfriend of the time birthday. The day was spent playing "couples" on every ride. Which basically ment, whoever you went to prom with was basically who you were riding the ride with. All in all the day was a memory that will never be forgotten. The rest of her junior year was really uneventful. There were a few break ups amongst her friends which caused her to lose Austin. A moment she would live to regret. Towards the end of the year, Lauren met a surfer who she would call Cutter. Mainly because everyone called him that. They met at the beach and she thought that he was the one for yes. She would sneak out of the house and the two of them would go off and hang out with their friends. One night things turned sour. Like usual she snuck out and he picked her up in his Jeep. They went off alone and as they sat up on a hill talking he slowly began to make a move on her. She allowed it until a certain point. Cutter tried to force himself on her and she managed to get him, but without a price. They got into an argument because not only had she stopped him but they were almost caught by the cops. Cutter took off as Lauren was trying to get back into the front seat. As he drove away, she fell back and hit her back on the side of the Jeep. Cutter took Lauren home and they broke up, but that wouldnt be the last of him. He would go on to stalk her until the summer after her senior year.

Now Lauren's Senior year is when everything happened. It started out with a relationship in the begining of the year. But it wasnt a normal relationship. Lauren met Jake online. They talked on the phone every night and it wasnt long before they started dating. One day while Lauren's parents were both at work, and would be until later that night. She convinced him to come walk her home from school. It took a while but he finally gave in. He rode his bike to the school and walked her home. Once they got to her house, they went inside and sat on the couch. It was an awkward moment for the two of them. Both wanted to do something but neither would. After an hour he had to leave because his mom was expecting him home. She walked him to the door and said goodbye and watched as he rode his bike away. Soon after that they would begin to talk less and less and he would actually be put in Juvenile Hall. It was not long after that, that Lauren ended the relationship because she couldnt do it anymore. The breakup was rather easy until he called her three weeks after saying he had been kicked out of the house and needed to talk to someone. Naturally she talked him through it and calmed him down. At the end of the conversation as they were hanging up he said, "I love you" and she of course said it back, but as she finished saying it he added in "..As a friend" and then hung up. She hung up in tears, went to school in tears the next day and didnt stop until she had talked to a few of her friends. Afterwords he only called her for one thing. Sex which she refused to give him. He would be the only relationship she had her senior year. The rest of the year was focused on her friends, school and prom. And of course Senior Meetings and Graduation. At the end of the year she and Ashely got into a really big fight, two days before graduation. Needless to say she made it through Graduation unharmed. Now on to College!

The Summer after graduation Lauren and Delaynee decided they would take two classes during Summer Intersession at the college. This helped them get use to how things would work during the fall. July is when things got interesting.On the fourth of july she met Jay and Taylor. Taylor would change the course of her life at the time she didnt know it. They started talking online for a good month at least. On her birthday, Lauren decided that she would tell him how she really felt about him. But with her previous history with guys she was worried about what would happen. She took a chance and went for it. She told him how he felt and to her surprise he said he felt the same way. At the time however, Lauren didnt know he had a girlfriend. She was talking to Jay and it was then that she figured out he had a girlfriend but yet he was still flirting with Lauren. At the time she didnt really mind. Infact Taylor helped Lauren though a tim she didnt think she would make it. On July 26th 2008, she recieved a phone call saying that Austin had died. At first she refused to belive it, For the longest time she was a complete basket case because she had talked to him two weeks before he crashed. Then just as she started to get back to normal Taylor and his girlfriend Melissa broke up, and both Lauren and Taylor confessed they were in love with each other but yet they still werent dating. One weekend Lauren and her parents were heading to Havasu, They would be gone three days but she would still be able to text each other. Apparently the day before they were leaving to come home. He and his ex girlfriend got into a really big fight, he had been drinking and decided that he was going to try and kill himself. Infact later that night he would get into his car and crash into a tree causing him to be ejected through the windshield. The effects of the crash would be that he would lose some of his memory and have a concussion. Of course one of the parts he would forget would be everything that had to do with Lauren. This broke her heart when she heard it. The started talking again, even though his friend Josh and of course Melissa protested it. Lauren did her best to try and prove that she was in love with him and apparently Taylor had been talking to Josh about Lauren. Josh realized that he should be with Lauren by the way he talked about her. They decided that they should go out, it lasted for a week but it felt like a life time to her. She had fallen in love and this time she could tell it was for real. Apparently she was wrong. A week later they broke up and Lauren was heartbroken. He got back together with his ex girlfriend and Lauren was left alone, again. When they broke up he promised her that he wasnt going back to Melissa, but Lauren knew that he would. She did her best to stay strong and still talk to him, keeping him a friend just as they were before they dated. During this time Lauren began to get closer to Jay. He helped her through all the break up drama and everything after it. After going out once Taylor and Lauren would go out three more times. The final time is still in progress. There have been a few arguments between them but those arguments have made them stronger. The most recent argument nearly caused a breakup but the two of them talked about everything that happened in their lives. Taylor told Lauren that the reason he had been smiling the past couple days were because of her, in return Lauren told him that no matter what happened, she would always be in love with him and he was the reason that she hadn't starved herself.

Wow what a week its been

So yeah, alot has happened this week. It started out as a four day weekend. Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Nothing exciting really happened that weeked, a cancelled River run left me stranded at home with nothing to do because all my friends made plans without me after I told them I would be gone. Monday was the funeral for my cousin but we didnt go so I kind of to that day to myself and mostly lounged around the house remembering him in all the ways that I could.

Tuesday I cant remember, I think I was in some blurr lost between school and my thoughts. whatever the reason, it must not have been important.

Wednesday I remember faintly only because during the day at school, I had some nasty ass cupcake during fourth. The cupcake itself wasnt nasty it was the frosting. It was wayy to metallic. The school day went off without a hitch. When I got home Mom made me cook dinner which something in it (i think maybe the nutmeg) cause me to become ill.. Many times that night, I managed to have perfect timing in my run from my bed to my bathroom. After I managed to stop being sick i took some Nyquil (my best friend) and brushed my teeth and passed out on my bed.

I woke up Thurday morning still feeling sick and called mom and told her I was staying home from school. around Noon or so I dragged myself out of bed and got online. I talked to my friend who is in Dublin right now. The time difference between us suck majorly its hard to catch him online. And when I do catch him online, its either, too late here or really early there.

Friday I woke up feeling amazing becuase it was just that Friday..the end of the week already [as I said it was a blur] Well not much really happened at school. That night however is when everything happened. I sent Delaynee a text message saying that we should go see Step Up 2. Well after a few moments we decided that Jumper would be a better decision since Hayden Christensen is amazingly hot!! So we ask a few of our friends to come with us and only one was allowed to go with us. So Delaynees mom picks us up and we head to Mission Grove, only two minutes from my house. So once there we see that it is over run with little middle school kids! completely infested. We get out tickets go inside, deal with the "I hate lauren club" made of all my ex best friends..oh joy. We go to our theatre and find seats just as previews start. Well before we even got there D was texting her latest ex boyfriend and telling him we were going to the movies. well about midway through the movie he calls her and says come out to the lobby im standing out here. Well she drags me along, mainly because i knew more about what was going on that our other friend. So we go there, she gives him a hug and we walk into the bathroom. After devising a quick plan we walk out and he is distracted by his friends. So while his back is to us we attempt to make a run for it. Just before we could get to the corner and out of site he turns to see us and calls after us. This caused us to run even faster. I had a feeling that he was following so I looked back and of course he was. and he was about two theatres behind us. We nearly feel down a set of stairs [probably 5 steps max] and ran into our stadium theatre and up to our seats. We nervously watched the entry spots waiting for him to walk in but thankfully he didnt. He ended up texting her saying that what we did was uncalled for and how we were bitches..Needless to say it freaked her out more than it did me. Then again I wasnt the one who went out with him. I have to admit though I am a bit worried for her. This guy isnt exactly the model citizen. I dont trust him, hes been in trouble nearly everyday of his life.

Then today I started and finished the third book in Stephanie Meyers series. Eclipse Wow that book is amazing its like an addiction. Once I started reading it I couldnt finish. Some 700 pages or so in a matter of 19 hours...pretty good i must say. Once I got towards the end though, I was determined to finish it before midnight... I finished it at 11:30 I was shocked. The next couple books Im reading are paged less, thankfully, but still equally amazing. Im reading the Gossip Girl series now. Ive already got one under my belt now Im onto the rest. sadly I only have two and three left in my house to read, Im going to have to scrounge around and see who has the rest of them [other than my ex best friend].

Wow what a Week its been!!

Its hard for me to describe what kind of week ive been having but ill try my best so here it goes.

Alright so lets see here Monday started out a really good day! I got the TA class that I wanted and things were great! Until that is, lunch came around. At lunch, as always I go into my 6th period teachers classroom. My 6th period is my favorite class, maybe not favortie subject but everything else is cool, Well I was joking around with my teacher and I asked her how I did on my final..this is where things go completely bad!! She tells me that not only did I fail the final but I failed the class. Lovely right!! Well thanks to failing this class I have another month or so of adult ed!! Arent I lucky!! Well I knew my mother wasnt going to like the news wether i told her then or waited till grades came in. So I opted to tell her now and just get it over with. So I walk out to get lunch and called her. She didnt pick up. I left a voicemail as I fought off tears telling her how I failed econ which ment that I would be going to adult school yet again. So instead of calling me she sends me a text message...man I almost died there. The text message read. "Well talk about this when we get home" Needless to say I almost had a heart attack. So through sixth period I was freaking out. Well I get in the car after school and she immediatly begins yelling at me. So lets see these are my consequences. Cell phone off till Six everyday. I have to sit in the dinning room and do my homework. I have to study basically all day and night. I have to clean my room [which I was planning on doing anyways] Im only allowed on the computer for 1 hour everyday..except on the weekends....thank god! [mom seems to forget that I know how to get on once they go to sleep :D ]

So then Tuesday Morning after crying all day and night monday, I woke up feeling like shit!! I mean total and complete crap. My head felt like it was going to explode, I couldnt breath due to a massive sore through and my entire body ached. I managed to make it downstairs and lay on the couch for like, half an hour before my ride came. Unwillingly I went to school. I suffered through my classes, delt with mom once I got home and then went to adult school for the history class I was already taking. Thankfully! I passed that class and now had a break from that and maybe could have a normal schedule for a while. I went to bed at 6 oclock on tuesday thanks to Nyquil!!

Alright Wensday is when everything got exciting. and not in a good way. Alright so I fought with my alarm for about an hour before I finally decided to give up and go down stairs. It was 5 oclock, I still had plenty of time. My dad was home only because he was going to vegas for the day....work.. Well I made myself a cup of HOT Green Tea and sat on the couch as we watched the previous nights American Idol.[thank you DVR] I grabbed my moms blanket and curled on the couch as he then turned on House! I love that show. Around 6:30 I got up from the couch, went upstairs and got dressed. He couldnt believe I was going to school which was weird because usually hes the one telling me to go. So I told him I had to fight through the sickness and go. So I go to school and I suffer through first period, almost died in second. and then during thrid, things take a turn for the worst. So I was on myspace [even though were not supposed to be.pshh] well there was about a minute before the bell was going to ring and I checked my bulletins one last time. I saw my cousin had posted one. It caught my attention none the less by saying RIP Brother Ill miss you. Half of me wanted to believe it was a chain letter but half of me knew that something was wrong. At that moment the proxy decided to be extremely slow. I read it hurriedly and was shocked to find out that my cousins brother...yes my cousin. was killed in a car accident. I didnt exactly have the full story because he didnt go into details..of which I dont blame him. I told my mom what happened because I didnt think she knew. turns out my aunt had called her earlier that morning. My mother asked me If I said anything to my sister, I told her no. Then she became curious as to how I found out. So I told her I saw his bulletin on myspace.

Once we got home that day, our phones were ringing off the hook. but finally we heard the real story about what happened. Him and his friends went out drinking and around 4:30 that morning they decided to head out. Well all of his friends knew that they should take a cab so they called one and were about to leave when my cousin, Johnny said he was going to drive because he needed to go to work. They argued for a while before they finally gave up. They told the taxi driver that was going to take him home to follow behind him. Well I guess he was speeding and he was going to make a turn which maximum should have been going 25 MPH well he was going faster than that, missed the turn and hit a tree. So that pretty much sucked ass.

Thursay I took a sick day with my mom and sister and stayed home from school, needless to say it was a long day!

Today I went back to school. Thankfully I didnt have too much work to catch up on. Although today, it finally sank in that I wont be able to see my cousin any more, it kinda made things difficult. Well Im thinking of keeping myself occupied for the weekend so I dont think about it. Maybe go see The Eye! hmm idk though, its up to my lame friends haha Kidding I love my friends. Alright Well Im off to go watch JUNO! haha later lovelys

Rain Drops on Roses and Girls in White Dresses

Alrighty then lets see here. Friday was Winter Formal for my school and the day started out slow, the night before my mother took my dress in about an inch on both sides because it was too big (at one time it was to small..thank you weight watchers :D ) She came home from work and curled my hair and put it up, I finished making a CD or three for the limo ride to Diamond Bar. I did my make up and was out the door by 5:00. I got to D's at 5:15 and we took pictures till about 5:30. The limo got there at 6 and we left around 6:30 due to some money difficulties. We walked into the doors of the Diamond Bar Center at 7:15. and to all of our surprises It was amazing inside. We weren't to sure of how it was going to look all we knew was we were going to have fun! For everyone in the limo (except one person) we were seniors and our last Winter Formal! Inside they had Karaoke (which I did not try) two foose ball tables. two pool tables and a DDR set up (that I tried and was fun) Inside the Grande Ballroom was the dance floor (which was huge) Tables decorated white Effile Towers. Our theme was "Une Nuit a Paris" and yes it does mean "One Night in Paris" We all shared our fair of laughs about it. There was a balcony that looked over a beautiful view! While we were on the dance floor alot of our friends came up to us and were talking to us. One in particular I use to like about two years ago, I still kind of do but he has a girlfriend and I had seen them dancing together probably ten minutes before he came up. He gave me hug and when I went to pull away to dance again he pulled me close and put his lips to my ear and said "you look good sexy" and then walked away. From that point on I was completly baffled. Every where I went he was there with his girlfriend. I still dont know what to think about it.

On the way home we turned the lights in the limo off except the stars on the roof and turned the music up. D and I had the bright idea, since the lights were off, to turn our camera's on and use the flash. We probably took like 5 consecutive pictures just flashing the camera for the hell of it. Needless to say, we were the only ones laughing. But it was funny. We have pictures to prove it. We got back to D's house at Midnight or shortly there after and I went home after dropping K and Eric off. I removed all my make up and changed out of my dress and into more comfortable sweats. Just as I was laying down to sleep my phone starts to ring. My first thought was oh no its jake, thankfully it was D. Had it have been Jake I probably would have cried. She only called because she couldnt sleep. So i talked to her for a while and then finally fell asleep.

I woke up this morning around 10 or so and felt like shit! I knew it was bound to happen but thanfully it waited until after Formal. I was completly exhausted and still am actually. I woke up coughing and that hurt. My legs are sore beyond belief, My right leg more so than the left thanks to my on go knee problems. (stupid car). I came down stairs and watched Broken Trail and Top Gun with my dad. Mmm Top Gun! tom Cruise in his finest, before he went all crazy. Then I went shopping with my mother for food cause we were running a bit low. Im supposed to clean the kitchen before I go to sleep and its already 1 in the morning...Im feeling a bit tired, but if I dont clean it, My father will be pissed as hell. In true Califonia fashion...Its raining, lovely!!

Now lets press forward about a month. My cousin sent me an email a week ago asking wether or not I want to go on a bit of a shopping Spree to Santee Alley with her and my aunt in LA. D is going to try and talk her mom into letting her go with us because it would be amazingly fun. Not that it wont be anyways but with her there it would make it that much better. I cant go anywhere with out my best friend, its difficult, were always texting each other if were apart.

Where would you go if you could spend a week with your best friend? What would you do?

Sunday Afternoon Movies

Wow alright so let see. Waking up this morning I definitely felt better than I did yesterday. Mom agreed as well. So it looks like the concert tomorrow is still on. Yay I cant wait!. Well I was woken up numerous times by text messages from myspace telling me I had new comments and also by a friend who is constantly worrying about the limo for formal. Oh the joys of waking up. I have to say though, knowing that I dont have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow morning made things better. I have to get around 9ish so that I have time to take a shower, get dressed, dry my hair and get out the door. The concert is down town so it shouldn't take me that long to get there.

Alright so as you can tell by the banner on the layout I saw Cloverfield today. Holy Crap!! Me and my friend could not stop screaming! It started out a little slow but once it picked up it never stopped. We were taken completely by surprise. I had heard mixed review about the movie and finally decided today that I should just go see it. Originally we supposed to go see it Friday night at like eleven but my brothers flaked out on us so we went today. It was a good thing we didn't see it Friday because we probably wouldn't have slept that night. She kept texting me once we got home because it was just starting to get dark and she kept seeing things. I couldn't help but to laugh at her. It was quite entertaining.

Now I'm sitting here listening to all my local bands on Myspace. These bands are the best Ive heard in a while, not only because theyre all friends with each other and they all live around me but because theyre lyrics are truly amazing. I support them 110%. Ive actually become friends with a lot of the guys since I go to their shows a lot. Its funny now I don't even ask my mom if I can go. I just tell her that they're playing a show by the house or downtown and she asks me when. Last time I went to one of Panima's concerts downtown she asked me when the next concert was I told her that I wouldn't be able to go cause it was on a Thursday and it was in Anaheim, she laughed and agreed with me. My mom has always been supportive of me going to concerts and what not. When I was younger she use to be the one taking my sister and I all the time. We went and saw all of our favorite boy bands. except Backstreet Boys. but no matter what shes always allowed it. Im very thankful for that because music means alot to me and I love being able to meet new bands and listen to new music, So if your a band and you want me to take a listen, add me on myspace, I never decline band requests. [I have like four pages of just bands on my friends list]

Alright well I think its about time I wrapped up this Journal. I think Im going to try some of the snacks my mom made today. They look really good. She made some Blueberry Scones that look Delish! XD haha Well maybe Ill post another Journal later If anything new happens.

Saturday Night Live

Woke up this morning coughing, wheezing, sniffling. Anything you could imagine about being sick. My first thought was, "Oh Shit, I cant get sick I have a concert to go to on Monday!" Im a bit miffed about it all. So needless to say Im preparing myself with everything in the house. Ive taken Zicam! which I swear by. and theres plenty of NyQuil because my parents have been sick all week. I had my window open trying to get all the sick air out of my room.

Thank goodness though for a three day weekend. Finals are next week and I feel the pressure beginning to build up. My grades are decent but some of them are borderline. If I completely bomb a final I could easily fail a few of my classes. That thought alone is enough to scare the living day lights out of me.

Well going along with the Title of this Journal Im watching Saturday Night Live. You gotta love the old episodes, they truly are the best ones ever. This particular episode is hosted by Natalie Portman with musical guest Fall Out Boy. It was filmed just after V for Vendetta because Natalie had her really short hair. But it got me thinking. People always take re-runs for granted. When people come upon re-runs of a show they watch they usually skip past it and say that they've already seen that episode so why watch it again. But Ive come to realize those are the same people who wish that they could go back in time and change something they did in their past. If you think about it TV show re-runs are kind of like a glimpse into the past of that show. It shows you past characters and events that happened, these reruns make people think about things that happened in their lives. Thoughts start triggering in the minds of Americans, thoughts such as. I remember what happened the day this episode aired or remember how people were back then. Re-runs are an unappreciated thing.

All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life - remind me to kill myself.

Ah, well Im kind of in a Journal posting mood, but im not exactly sure what to write about. Theres alot running through my mind and its hard to catch onto one of those thoughts and write about it.

Alright lets see, well my ex boyfriend Jake has been driving me up the wall lately! He keeps calling me and if I dont answer, hell call back three more times. I know I told him that I wanted to be friend with him after we broke up but recently hes been really getting on my nerves. Im starting to wish that I never tol him that now. Does that make me a bitch? Like yesterday he called me, and I was already in pain because I had dislocated my knee so he asks me what Im doing and I said I was doing homework. He then asked me what I was doing tomorrow (which would be today) and I said that I was sure and asked why. He then tells me. "Oh well I was thinking about walking you home from school".....my first thought was, you never wanted to see me while we were going out but now you do? what the hell...but what I said was...."well im not going to be walking home for a while because my knee, I dislocated it again." and he says "Well I could come over and visit for a while." so I kind of paniced and told him that I didnt know what I was doing. so he told me to call him back and I never did.

Alright so I am now completely stressed out! See January 25th is Winter Formal at my school and well at the beginning of the year there was a major group that said we were all going to go because were seniors and we havent been to one of the winter formals. So now its coming down to crunch time and no body wants to go except me and Delaynee. They decided to tell us that after we already have picked out our limo, Delaynee got her dress already...and now its just us two...kinda retarded. So Delaynee and I have decided that if no one else wants to go with us, were just going to rent a little town car and meet up with people there. Cause its bullshit.!

So in an attempt to keep my mind off of some of my stress, Im watching Dazed and Confused as I do the rest of my Economic's Project. The project is horrible but I love the movie!

Alright well my movie is almost finished, yet I still have loads left to do on my homework. I hate when i procrastinate...it sucks. It sucks and it gets me no where! why is it that I cannot be curred of this. I better figure out a way to get over it before I get myself into too deep of a hole.

Living is Easy with Eyes Closed, Misunderstanding All You See,

Alright so lets see what all happened today. First period was boring, Second I yelled at my cousin about smoking weed and what not because we have this ever lasting argument about it. Third period is where all the fun starts! lol So I go into the MPR which is where the blood drive is this year. So I go through the process of signing in and what not and I get to this lady whos checking my pulse and she starts asking questions that are on the back of the yellow paper they gave me. The questions were the randomest questions Ive ever heard in my life!! "Have you been to Africa?" "in the 80's were you ever in the united kingdom" "Have you ever had sex with a prostitute?" "have you ever accepted money, drugs as a payment for sex"...and the list goes on and on!! it was crazy!! So not many of you know me on here but I have the tendency to think of the randomest things ever at random times. Well Im laying on the bed thingy they have set up and the lady has found my vein luckily on the first try so Im staring out this little window at the top of the room as im laying there for about twenty minutes when all of a sudden this thought pops into my head. If the fire alarm goes off...what do we do? theres probably 30 people laying on beds with blood running out of their veins into a bag...do they wheel us out into the parking lot? or do they rip the needle out and then push us out. Cause seriously, the process after they take the needle out takes like 10 minutes. So what do we do? Dont you just love my thoughts...Its really quite entertaining when I think of these things.

Hahaha wow well I think this might be it for my little journal only because im am soo exhausted that its not even funny. Ive been loaded down with soo much homework that I cant even think!!! luckily only 3 more days of school then off for two weeks. sadly its bittersweet! this is going to be the last two weeks I ever have off at christmas! damn the bad parts of senior year!! but praise the good!! haha

I get to watch the blood run from my veins today

alright so I know how completely emo that sounds but I promise it really isnt!!! Today is the blood drive at school and so I quiet literally get to watch the blood run from my vein. lovely!! haha. yeah So im supposed to drink plenty of fluid before hand and so far ive only drank one bottle of water...i dont know how much more I can drink but I guess well have to find out right? Oh and on another note that doesnt involve blood. Today is Delaynee's birthday!! yayyy Im soo happy. Its going to be fun!! During Tech Theatre yesterday, our teacher told us (the advanced techs) that if we could build her a computer cabinet by friday she would order us pizza!! That is amazing in its own because she never allows food in the theatre. When the Advanced Techs heard that we all started throwing in our own suggestions on what people should bring!. It was really funny. Okay so ive noticed that Im skipping around a bit here I think its because its only 6:45 in the morning and Im really friggen cold but then again. WHO KNOWS!! haha alright well im outtie I need some food in my system before I head out the door.

Love ya.

Lauren